Saying Goodbye

Another piece of big news that we haven't had a chance to share with everyone is that on May 24, G returned to his Grandmother.  In short, it was a bittersweet day.  We are so happy that G had someone fighting for him as she genuinely loves him but we miss him.  We continue to pray for him and will always consider him as part of our family as he will be in our hearts forever.  There are a couple of questions that we are commonly asked so I thought I would share those along with our responses in an effort to explain how we were feeling and are feeling now...

What was it like to say goodbye?  

It was actually hardest before the final goodbye had to be said.  We knew that his Grandmother was making a great deal of progress toward her plan and with that it was most likely that the court would order for him to return to her.  As this news became real to us the grieving began.  We all considered G an equal part of our family and it was difficult to imagine him not being here.  I also had to come to terms with this outcome being as much a part of God's plan for him as adoption would have been.  I had to let go and trust that for whatever reason, God wanted him here on December 10th until May 24th; not a day less, not a day more.  

Will we foster again?

Maybe in the future but not now.  The timing to try fostering-to-adopt again really doesn't make sense right now with a new baby coming in October.  Both Toby and I were and are in total agreement that we need to be on the agency's inactive list and we will trust that God will provide direction in His time if and when we are to foster again.       

Would we have done it if we knew what the outcome was going to be?  

Yes.  The need is great.  Kids need a safe and loving home regardless of whether their future includes reunification or adoption.  While we wanted him to stay forever we were also prepared that God's plan might be just to use us for a while.  We recognize that we will likely never know the reason or effect the decision to foster had or will have on our lives or the lives of others but we knew the call was clear and we obeyed.  

How are things now?

The girls sacrificed a lot to welcome and care for G.  We are so proud of them for that.  Think countless doctor appointments, family visits at the department of family and child services (not exactly a fun place to hang out), impromptu visits from attorneys, case workers and other people checking on him and often times a very frazzled momma.  Once we began to feel at peace with what was happening, my sorrow was replaced with a joy and optimism for the time ahead with Rylie and Reagan and the four of us as a family.  Since June 24th there has been sadness but also a lot of fun family time and emotion freed up to focus on the gifts that God has blessed us with including one coming this October.  

Other thoughts... 

Since the day we decided to begin this journey, we were met with unwavering support and love from friends and family.  Friends sacrificed their personal time to attend training classes so that they could watch G for us if we needed a break or date night (calling your teenage babysitter is not an option when fostering).  Others cared for him in the church nursery and Mother's Day Out, gave and shared clothes and toys, and loved him as part of our family and community immediately and without hesitation.  And many who never even met him in person cared for him in prayer and for that we can never thank you enough.  Both Toby and I were asked to write letters to G that will be given to him upon his eighteenth birthday as part of his file.  In those letters we each told him how great and true our love for him is but that even more there is a heavenly Father who's love is beyond our greatest imagination and that he has a unique and specific plan for his life.  We pray those words will meet him in a place where he may choose to accept the love that Christ offers and know the only thing that really matters in life.    

And what is a post this long without pictures... 

Gambit on his first day with us